Thursday, 4 November 2010

Decorative Hedgehogs

Last night, amongst other things, including swimming up waterfalls with dolphins and not wanting to swim in the sea due to an overpopulation of salmon, I dreamt about this weird farm place that produced baby hedgehogs which were then killed and used as water features (there seemed to be a water theme last night). I was having a look in a glass case filled with disgruntled yet still living baby hedgehogs when I noticed there were also these gerbil/hamster/mouse hybrids and a little maze for them to run about in. One of them managed to escape and I followed it in an attempt to make friends but it wasn't very tame. Then Matt Sealby (a guy I know 'oop north') picked it up by its tail which made me feel a bit uncomfortable as I thought it might fall off like a gerbil's. He turned the GHM on its back and said, "Let me show you this strange feature." (I'm paraphrasing and managing to make it sound like he was talking about an iphone). He stroked down its stomach and then pulled its penis, and ball (it only had one), clean off and popped it in his mouth sucking the ball off and swallowing it like it was ketchup on a chip. He then slotted the penis back into the hole it had left on the underside of the GHM and told me that it didn't feel anything and would grow another ball.


No wonder I was having night-sweats with all that genital mutilation going on.

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