Nose Roses

Yesterday I went on the hunt for a mini watering can – the kind that has a really thin spout but no shower head (I am quite certain it is not referred to as a shower head in the gardening world but let’s not nitpick). The reason for my search is that I came across a nasal cleansing technique on my travels across the internet, called Jala Neti, where you tip hot, salty water into one nostril and it comes out of the other one. Apparently it’s good for curing rhinitis which I’m sure I’ve got as I constantly have runny, irritated nasal passages and, forgive me but it’s getting right up my nose.

There is a special piece of equipment used in the process of Jala Neti called a neti pot but in the video tutorial I saw on Youtube they say it’s fine to use a waterbottle with a squeezy top or a mini showerheadless watering can instead. I tried the squirty water bottle version but I already have a fear of my nostrils stretching to Fern Cotton proportions due to constantly having my fingers, and thumbs, up there. (In my defence that’s because of the constant itchiness and also my nose always seems to house crusty bogeys.) I’m sure my enlarged nostrils won't be getting any smaller by sticking a water bottle up there so it was time to find the watering can option.

So I went into a hardware store around the corner from my work and asked the man if they sell them. He told me they used to but that no one really knew what to do with them so they stopped. He asked me what it was for and before I had time to answer he continued, "Watering roses or something?” Had he not suggested this I’d have definitely told him what I wanted it for but I’m not sure he could handle the truth so with my awkward, highly unskilled lying technique I looked to the side and nodded my head and said yes. Yes my dear fellow, it’s for the roses up my nose.

I went on to search a flower shop and TK MAXX but was unsuccessful in my mission. I would have gone to a garden centre but they’re all so far away! I did, however, purchase one of these amazing chopping boards (inspired by my friend Alex Berger who bought one for our cooking fanatic chum, Adam Detre) that fold inwards so you don’t lose any bits of onion when you tip it in the pan. Super! But still neti potless - the hunt continues…